Here are some samples-

“Consensus reality is not The Truth, it’s only what the masses of ignorant and bigoted people believe. Don’t take that wrong.”
“Guns no longer protect us from a government that doesn’t serve our needs. The modern warfare against We the People is economic.”
“Give people a reason and they’ll stop thinking for a day. Give them a religion and they’ll stop thinking for the rest of their lives.”
“Progress for a better future is often stifled by those who are invested in the past.”
“You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can’t make them think.”
“Politics is like a fart: people pretend not to notice, but when it breaks wind, everyone blames everyone else.”
“Humorless and judgmental people who are offended on the side of political correctness are often worse human beings than those with poor taste they are correcting.”
“The forgiving God I envision is not just on our side, God is on everyone’s side. I don’t even think he would mind if you didn’t believe in him.”
“I’m glad there are religions for when people need them, but after that they tend to take more than they give. Religion should set you free, not keep you dependent.”
“Don’t trust anyone who stands to benefit or profit from their own advice … especially people in positions of trust.”
It’s okay to talk to yourself in your head, it’s even okay to answer yourself in your head, but when you start saying … what? You’re in trouble!”
“If you wear a suit and tie all the time you may be someones performing monkey that is being lead around on a leash. Casual Fridays are an important statement of independence.”
“Until you drink and dance with the drinkers and dancers … you don’t know what you are missing.”
“If you are concerned about your partner having an affair, you should be. Anyone any fun is adventurous.”
“It’s not Democrats verses Republicans people. It’s the 99% verses the 1% that owns half of everything.”
“Quick riches slay the bitches. I mean, quick stitches save the britches.”
“When my wife brought up the subject of cheating I always said that if she’s was ever mean or neglectful to me that I might have to go cry away my pain in the bosom of a beautiful young woman.”
“Minimum wage is indentured servitude: it has an appearance of freedom but is only slightly better than slavery.”
“The way to an interesting mans heart is not through his stomach.”
“Behind every great man is his wife … and girlfriends.”
“If I dwelled on all the mistakes I have made, all the stupid things I have done, I would be an emotional cripple. If you are not taking chances and making mistakes, you are not learning and growing.”
“Kindness, generosity, patience, humbleness and ordinariness are the best measures of enlightened beings, and definitely not by what ridiculous costumes religious leaders wear to convince us of how special and different from us they are.”
“Don’t jump out of the frying pan into troubled waters.”
“A hundrend dollars saved is twenty dollars earned. (Folk saying adjusted for inflation)”
“Two is company, three is a ménage à trois, and four is an orgy.”
“The intimate now is the doorway to infinity where space and time dissolve.”
“You haven’t fully experiences love until you have loved two or more people at the same time.”
“Our body and environment is the mind projected into solidified space.”
“A dollar is a dime without a doubt when all the taxes and inflation are taken out.”
“When we try to grasp awareness, consciousness, being, with language and our thinking mind, it slips through our conceptual fingers.”
“It doesn’t cost much money to live a clean, healthy, and ethical life. It does cost a lot of money to live in a fantasy world of exaggerated self-importance.”
“When I grow up I wanna be a firetruck!” Bobby Kelley, age 4
“Don’t worry that guys are looking at you, worry when they stop looking at you.”
“Sheep that are no trouble to shear flock together.”
“When I was a younger man I spent several small fortunes on drugs, loose women, and fast motorcycles. It was worth it.”
“The purpose of life is to procreate. The meaning of life is to make love.”
“Moment after moment everything arises out of nothingness. That sound didn’t come from outside, it came from presence in the quiet spacious mind.”
“Women’s garments have finally achieved the tease of appearing naked in public while being fully dressed.”
“I don’t want 70 virgins when I die. That sounds like Hell! I want a woman with experience, and two or three is plenty.”
“All strippers and politicians say: I cannot be bought … but you can rent me for awhile.”
Those who can’t teach, preach. Those who can’t preach teach Sunday school.”
It’s expensive to be rich.”
“Post unto others as you would have them post unto you.”
“To criminalize someone who is coexisting peacefully for a mere statutory violation is an abuse of governmental power, and cruel and unusual punishment.”
“Do you find it suspicious every time there is a crime that law enforcement is involved?”
“The meek get charged extra, and paid less. The rich’s children shall inherit the world.”
“Indiscriminately gregarious extroverts are entertaining to know, at least until you have something important to say.”
“A bird in the hand is worth two tomorrows.”
“Obstinance makes the heart go yonder.”
“Laws and morals are low standards if one is coexisting peacrfully.”
“Politicians are like garbage bags: both need to be thrown out often or they stick up the place.” When in doubt, vote the incumbent out.”
Those who say it can’t be done usually don’t notice those who are doing it.”
“The quality of out state of being speaks for itself regardless of what words are being said.”
“Nearly every culture throughout history, and every animal species explores bisexual behavior.”
“Beware of the person who lies to themselves, next they will be stealing from you.”
“Wealth doesn’t trickle down, that’s just a platitude politicians use to placate and mislead the meek and uneducated poor to keep them in their place.”
“The problem with most governmental forms is that many of the people in power use it to enrich themselves at the expense of those they are supposed to be serving and protecting.”
“Having a great sex life is not all about trading favors, but giving to your partner for the sheer pleasure of making them happy.”
“Many people think they are thinking when they are only parroting others ideas.”
“In construction, if you fall off the roof you’re fired before you hit the ground … unless you yell so everyone can watch, then they’ll keep you around for entertainment value.”
“The Bureau of Redundancy Bureau. How many government workers does it take to change a lightbulb? Twelve: one to hold the lightbulb, four to turn the ladder around, four to stand around and watch, one to process the permit, one to do the final inspection and one to verify that OSHA requirements were adhered to.”
“Building codes are a good thing, but wherever you find government regulation you will likely find corruption.”
“When I was younger, I’d say: “You can wash down a lot of bull sh*t with enough money.” Today I say: My peace of mind is worth more than money.”

To do good is my Religion and the whole world is my country

It is only with this thought process we can achieve global peace